;;U;;

It’s 3rd day when my intuos is working
Such days are making my life awesome.

p.s. love that song. It always make me sooo happy and relaxed

love <3

Sushi pillow set sketch

Lol, that’s pretty random, but i feel like to draw something with sushi. I have a big willingness to eat some >3< I really like it, not because it’s omg japan food, but it tastes so good (excepting these ones with tamago ) ;U; When i’m with friends in the mall we’re always buying some in Tokyo Express XD I think to make some sushi soon by myself ( i made sushi few times before and it was pretty good) 8D but knowing myself it will end with buying some ready ones haha XD; Just will catch the opportunity, when i will have to go to the mall~

I don’t know when i will finish it, i still have a lot to do, my hands are overloaded and are dying already. But anyway, i want work, i hope i will manage it somehow ;u;

I like such posing pictures :> too much magazines lol

Update: I’ve never made full screenshot of my work, so i made one XD I made the sketch more precised for lineart. It’s all at this moment, i hope i will back to this picture in few days, and i will be able to finish it :>

I have good days recently

As title says. I wasn’t down since i drew that depressed Emily. I’m not going on teraphy yet, but i feel good and get more self-confidence, and get some distance to myself and other things, like i know i’m only human, and nobody is perfect especially me but i get used to it, also i’m turning some of bad things into jokes, and if  someone has something to me it’s this person’s problem. I don’t know how but i’m happy i wish i can hold that state for long time ;u;

I think, that probably may be like that because i started my teeth treatment, and it’s going in a good way :> in latest two weeks i’ve fixed 13 teeth! I’m more than happy, i even cried on my latest visit. Dentist asked “What’s going on?” and i said i’m simply moved. Yeah, it’s a big step in my life and means a lot to me – i will have health teeth ohmygosh ;;__;;

On 9th september I have last visit, there are 2 molars to remove left. I’m scared, but i know i must do it. And now i have a problem: I’m very satisfied from my dentist visits. My dentist and his assistants are awesome and there is always great atmosphere. There was a lot to do in my mouth and i’m grateful to them that they’re managed it. I’d like to pay in kind somehow, mostly i’m buying favor boxes to show my gratefullnes in the end of treatment, like i did it when my cat Antonine had surgery, vet was very surprised and happy from the gift from me. But is it okay to give favor box to dentist and his assistants? Or maybe it’s not quite the thing? In about two weeks i have my last dentist visit and i really want to know if it’s okay ;U;

btw. after dentist i’m going to orthodontist (who is also awesome) and i think i will get braces in 1-2 months, i’d love to buy them a gift too in the end of treatment (and later for my surgeon) XD Well that’s may be weird but it’s just me. I’m appreciating their work and kindness.

But nghhhh sweets are not good for teeth, I don’t know is that good to give them to people who are treating them >u< but hey, they are people just like you and me, why they wouldn’t like such tasty chocolates ;;__;; oh maaaan~ I am lost.

Okay anough about the dentist. Some doodles now. I wanted to draw EmixBob so much. i wanted some ambitious pose or theme, but it ended in simple one XD i hope i will finish it soon, but i don’t know when. Now besides of commissions and my work, i’ve added to my list some graphics for Animatsuri association for their m&a convention Hellcon2. So i will have some Echiko (our mascot) to do, posters t-shirts etc .u.

Flowy delicate hair

Ahhh i finally drew something for myself ;;U;;

But in the same time i decided to make a little “meago’s way” tutorial how to quickly pimp up a little some things (not only hair, but  it works good on hair in my speedpaint pictures :P )

There is a way how to make hair more hmm serene and delicate. Maybe it will be helpful :P (sorry one big file – i’m too lazy to put separated pictures) XD click to enlarge

and little doodle of Emily. Drawing backs is very difficult for me, so i wanted to practise. I wish to finish it soon :>

Some pictures this time

I was at the dentist today again, it was as good as previous visits :> Dentist says, while filling my medical card, that it (my actual teeth condition) starts to look better and better. Too bad my wallet looks worse and worse OTL but i can’t complain, cause it will be worth :>

okay okay as the title says, some pictures (click to fullscreen) well, actually doodles XD but maybe i will finish this one with Mina someday

4 teeth fixed :>

Another dentist visit, and another two teeth fixed. It’s 4 total, still 9 to go (including removing two of them). I have really charming and good  (so far) dentist. I think now i’m less affraid of them in general because of it. But i will wait with full opinion till i  finish all dentist treatment (There is lower jaw undone yet, and it always hurts me more, and there are ugly black bottom 6 and 7 teeth remains to remove). I hope it won’t be as bad as it sounds.
Honestly, it’s still pretty unconfortable (+1h without move and with broadly opened mouth) but there is almost no pain 8,D i even get gel anesthesia for the inj anesthesia XD

I have next visit in friday, next in tuesday, thursday and friday next week. I hope i will survive @u@

Aaand i was at one of my friend’s home today <3 (who was with me at the dentist too btw). I was really brave so i decided to buy a big cup of icecream, and later we have some fun watching “Adventure Time” (which i love so much, haha <3 ) ohhh I haven’t got  fun for long time ;U;

Aaand i bought Stephen Hawking’s “A Brief History of Time. From the Big Bang to Black Holes” 8D! Cause i like theoretical physic, black holes, universe and stuff like that. Plus i didn’t read any book for… i don’t remember OTL There is “Theory of Everything” in the queue XD

btw. I’m singing it randomly for 2 weeks already, lolol (especially the caAAave part) XD

I want to draw :C

I wish to draw something finally D:

Work is killing me. Yeah my work is drawing but i’d love to draw something for myself  (and my comics too) ;;__;;

I’d show you what i’m doing right now but i can’t because of the agreement, soo XD additionally my arms hurts from the paint roller and other things >:U i wish it’s over, but i still didn’t paint my room. Only kitchen is “almost” done OTL

I’m trying to work as i can, this week i have two dentist visit eh… And i made something wrong with my paypal lol. Somebody know if i send money from paypal to the invalid bank account (my old not in use already, i forgot to delete it in paypal profile) Is there a chance the paypal will notice that error and my money will back to me? @__@ i’m so nervous.

Anyway, i’m started to listening music again. My sis send me a lot of songs i already forgot about them. Old good songs :>

Like this ones XD yay my playlist is refreshed, it started to bore me already ;u;

One day rest and omfg meh

Uhhh i’m so tired X__X

I woke up at 4am today, cause we needed to put my grandma to sanatorium in Ciechocinek, and we decided to make a little break from work and house renovation. We had a train at 6am and we were there about 11am, but since my grandma is veeery slow, we were free at 14pm OTL and we could start sightseeing the city.  Geez Ciechocinek is soooo boring (i apologize people who’re living there, and may be touched ;__; ) but uhh -_- me and my sister called it Senior City. We find only 3 restaurants, but we couldn’t bear a lot of time, cause there were senior dancings, lol also there were a looot of souvenirs stands and second hands, and there were that down-market music everywhere @__@ and there were cd’s and tapes (!) with it to buy OTL

Buuut i liked these famous Graduation towers :)

anyway, i made some photos (i’m sorry for quality, phone camera)

there are some ‘flower carpets’

And the graduation towers

…And ohmygosh!!! D:

There is also me D:< Okay, you can say that i’m super ugly, I don’t really care since i know it. I don’t need to be pretty to be awesome :V (sorry, front camera from my phone, so it has bad quality )

And without sunglasses – my deformed askew face (want my surgery so bad ;;__;; )

…And my bulging, permanently swollen eyes :C

Now you will have nightmares, lol

Feeling better

The worst depression days passed. I don’t know for how long, but i feel better. Good enough to get my courage up and be more social and make more friends. Now, (even if it’s not true) i’m getting ideas into my head, that if someone will tell me that i’m super ugly, i could reply that “maybe, but  you’re not even in 50% that awesome like me” XD

I know that status won’t last long, and there will be a lot ups and downs, but i want to give myself a 2 years chance. I will try bear  it somehow till my face surgery. It’s my motivation to life now, cause i’m very curious how i will look O: Maybe depression will pass finally, if no, well, i have 2 years to think about it.

Now i’m trying to live more carefree, even if it’s only a mask which cover my demons. Also i decided to get some help from psychiatrist, and i’m planning to go on the psychiatric teraphy. At this moment I totally have no time to register there, but i definately decided, that i want to do it.

p.s. ngghh i’m so tired of the house make-over D: when the kitchen will be ready i will try to cook something finally ;u; (i wonder if i can)

House make-over

Aww i have house renovation finally ;__; My room, kitchen and bathroom, so i have to move all my stuff and furnitures to my parent’s room, it’s so cramped. Also i’m offline most of time. But i’m happy from this renovation, maybe i wil feel better, you know we have horrible flat, with leaking unfixable ceiling, so the walls were look awful with runs etc. Now it will be refreshed (i don’t know for how long OTL ) and it will be light green 8D and the kitchen will be orange (now it’s black, because my mom burn fries and we had a fire haha XD;; ) maybe it will also motivate me to cook something <3

It’s hard, and all of that will last still about week, so i would back to my normal work finally then. Only advantage in that all mess is that i pluged my compy to the 42″ tv in my parent’s room, so my sis can play my awsum games on it (now i want to buy big screen XD” but i must earning on the dentist, orthodontist and surgery).

We made a little different ceiling, i hope it will bear more than normal one

And my sister’s playing DragonAge lolol XD (and Antonine’s laying on the flor 8D )

Nghhhh i want my room back ;__;

and i want go bowling  XD